During a holiday in Florida I had the huge pleasure of meeting manatees. Never having heard of them before, I lingered behind once the man had finished his speech at the rescue centre. Everyone trooped off to look at something else but I hung about until a broad, flat head emerged and “whumphed” at me. This was Grandma Amanda, the oldest of the Manatees and she enlightened me. The man had listed all their strange features but Grandma Amanda explained how it happened, so well that I could see it all in my mind. I closed my eyes and let her deep sonorous voice take me to the scene of the tale.
The Director’s Office.
Thank you for coming to the weekly meeting. (We did agree on “week” didn’t we?) Right. So Pete is everyone here? Now I called this meeting because I have a few questions on this “Creation” project. Who is the team leader on this?
Thank you Malcolm. I wonder if you could explain this picture? Yes, yes they are delightful and charming and what did you say? Awwwwwwwww? Well yes I suppose “aww cute” does cover it. Let’s start with the bulbous bit at the front. What is it? The prototype we used on the scaled down elephant? Well why did you use it? Waste not, want not. Yes I agree but did you have to pair it with the miniature whale tail? Really?
Why? Well to be honest and I know I’m not an expert, just the Director of Design, it looks like a miniature elephant/whale that lives in the water. That wasn’t the idea? OK. But the teeth! Someone explain why you have given it such fragile teeth that wear away all the time? You tried that out with the elephant and I told you it was a design fault!
No, I’m not angry, I just want to understand. To say I’m less than happy is probably right. Now I see that they are adorable but I adore all creation. My main worry is that you have put them amongst that horrible hairless thing … what did you call that? Man! Yes, man, that’s it…but you gave it NO aggression at all. It is meant to survive with the most blood-thirsty creature we have produced so far with no self-defence instinct. I tell you all now, I am going to have to do something about this. Yes, special intervention is called for. I have an agent lined up for the job.
I think we are finished here. Oh and Malcolm … you’re fired!