A very nice friend on FB remarked this morning that I don’t bang on about my health problems. That was kind if not strictly true but it gave me a wonderful idea for a riposte to the kind of bollock-brain who wants to make me feel small.

Listen, mate, you are a bit late. The gods beat you to it. I was born with several things wonky. I have, at a current run-down

Bipolar Disorder (manic depression) including severe lack of self esteem

deafness (getting worse)

instability (I wobble a lot)

spinal scoliosis (including one leg longer than the other)

dizziness (drop everything I pick up)

a couple of broken bones which will get better but sting a bit

cuts and grazes (any number of)

no appendix, uterus, spleen or various other organs  and a jar of kidney stones which I keep by the bed.


And you think that YOU can make me feel bad with a few silly “talk down to you” words? You are a bloody amateur, Sir. Go away and take a course on insulting.


I am very pleased that I deal happily with all the gods because this morning having chatted to some native spirits and a couple of Hindu deities, I turned to the Blue and White lady on the hill and said her special prayer. She reminded me to “bless them that curse you and hate not”. She’s right – they bring their own curses on their heads and oh boy – were I to wish harm on that person, a nasty case of piles (painful but can’t talk about) would be the least I’d wish… but I don’t – I feel sorry for someone who prides himself on being able to handle other people ………….with spiked gloves on!  But don’t discount the piles… I am, after all a witch in pain and smarting with hurt pride.

4 thoughts on “Amateur!

  1. Your reply to the above made me chuckle. Do you want to meet my mother? She would try and give you a longer list and out-do you. Seriously though, life is a bitch and often-times you meet bigger ones. You seem to be doing really well from where I stand and your sense of humour is intact. That is the best medicine when someone does your head in with platitudes. Have a grand day and ignore the stupid ones.

  2. I have no idea what went on but as someone else says, at least they didn’t remove your sense of humour with all those bits of your innards. I hope you are still recovering well. Sod the buggers. I quite enjoy being really, really polite to people who insult me. Few things piss them off more. Alternatively, just ignore them. 😉

    Take care and I hope the broken bones and anything else that can mend does so, quickly.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.