Let’s dis Nature!

Scene: The Board Room of the manufacturers of Tampax.

CEO: Our sales figures are terrible. What has happened? Why aren’t women buying our products any more? Yes, Gavin, you have your hand up?

GAVIN: It’s the ecological impact, Boss. Some of the chemicals are very bad for the soil, the wrappers are non-biodegradable and this new pearl thing is a disaster. Also we can’t dissuade women from flushing them down the toilets.

CEO: Gavin, I don’t think you quite have the idea here. The ethos is “freedom”. Use it, chuck it in the lavatory and get on your bicycle or go for a swim. What the hell are all these tree-huggers and rubbish-sorters doing?

GAVIN: The eco- conscious women are buying a product that is re-usable, washable and they only have to buy once. They say it’s better for the environment, better for their health and much more economical.

CEO: OK. So – tree huggers eh? Save the whales fans eh? Come on, everyone, brain-storm! What can we do about this? Marcia?

MARCIA: Well, they are out to save the earth, so if we could find a figure that represents…say, Mother Nature and make her like, your worst teacher at school and really, like, horrible, out to spoil your fun…

CEO: I’m liking this a lot. Yes. Nasty old woman who wants to stop your fun so you, hip gal, use Tampax, do your own thing, get on out there and screw the consequences! Love it!

GAVIN: I really think this could backfire on us, Boss. If we start dissing Mother Nature there are a whole bunch of Druid types who will take offence.

CEO: You have completely lost the plot, Gavin, you’re fired!  Marcia – start drawing up plans for the new ad campagne – Mother Nature is a spiteful old bitch! I love it!!!!

What have they just done?




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